Johnny: Is it also true that a billion dollars for us is just a penny for you? More jokes about: little Johnny For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. "No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking. Usually she slept through the class. finally decided there was no way he Back to: Classic Adult Jokes. Observe closely the … Timbuktu Jokes Funny Humor by Joke Buddh A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. You can also check out the funniest of funny acronyms. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says: After a long pause little Johnny puts his hand up. The following morning Little Johnny comes to school and no black eye, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief. Said Little Johnny. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?” “No,” said his mom, “Of course not.” Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! Boy: "I saw both straps of your bra." and the students replied a joyous "Bacon". The teacher sat down and cried. "With you!" While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. His mom looked at the monitor and said, it'll take her 10 minutes to upgrade the computer. He was an electrician." After explaining the details and science to his Son, who had a puzzled look on his face the Father turned to his child, A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad! Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. They don't usually go anywhere without me, so i said 'Wait for me...". It is city in Africa. But I do like the way you're thinking. I’m coming!’ If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down, we’d have lost her for sure!”, 22. Johnny looks at the teacher and says "I have a question for you." Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. *Little Johnny stands up* "I don't have to." "I'm waiting for my secretary. Teacher: “Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. Bad news: He didn't land on the haystack either, "The sky is definitely blue," said one girl. One is licking her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is sucking her cone. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". '", First up was Mary. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny, when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way." Johnny: Is it true that a billion years for us is just a second for you? The mom replies, "Oh, it was small?" Then I say 'No' and then he slaps my face and gives me a black eye." No way could the redneck top that, they thought. Now THAT is a funny Little Johnny joke but, once again, not real (like Russell Huekler). and I shut up and kept very still. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Sherman: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. The teacher says "why does it cause excitement and commotion?" So both are given one final assignment. The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. ", Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and … ", A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself! One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. could damage the word 'fascinate', so Liked these funny Little Johnny jokes? Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? "No," Little Johnny replied "you go hide. The next night, the father gets up to go to the restroom, and he hears noises coming from Johnny's room. No butter for you for one month!" You can surprise your friends posting one of these funny little johnny jokes. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. If you're about to tell me grown ups don't have sex, I got nothin' to believe in anymore!". Little Johnny's father noticed that Johnny was spending way too much time playing computer games. Where on earth did you pick it up?” “From my father.” said Johnny. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny." ", A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you He’s a burglar.”, 21. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. “It’s the same dog.”, 8. ", The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?" “It means the car won’t start.”, 9. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch…; “Johnny!” shouted his mother. The teacher walked over to him. Johnny thinks about that for a moment and then says, "Wow, so dogs are just like people, aren't they?" When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Hilarous little Johnny jokes always win and Jokerz has the best of clean little johnny jokes as well as dirty ones. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. A joke that contains material for adults only that may contain rude or gross material. They was three, and we was two, So I bucked one, and Timbuktu. "Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom! 1. One day, his dad gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny then frowned. ". He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." ", The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?" He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. None, replied Johnny. "Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" It was like a peanut." asked the neighbor. "I know everything, Mister." His mother's ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money. It's true that I would like a husband of my own someday. His father says to him "That's an easy one", "Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000." Great humor for the whole family. Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Mummy! I’ve got to stop and talk to this little boy.’ He got out, looked and said “Son, that sure is a nice fire engine you’ve got there but, don’t you think he would pull a little better if you had that rope tied around his neck instead of his balls?” Johnny looked at him and said, “Well, I guess he’d pull better but, then I wouldn’t have a siren!”, 23. Finally she asked "What does a cow give us?" "Certainly not." "So," said his dad "Find your mother, now, and ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well." Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. Little Johnny's teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. She was a doctor." The teacher says, no there are 4 but I like the way you're thinking. Following is our collection of funny Little Johnny jokes. You should learn from him." Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! On returning home after catching only three fish his father says, "The way I figure it each fish cost us $400!" "Well...How kind of your daddy! Little Johnny raised his hand. bye bye!". But maybe if you were a little quieter I could.”, 20. Why are his legs like that?” His father, thinking quickly, said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.” “Gee Dad, that’s great,” said little Billy. *Nobody stands up* "Why aren't you writing Johnny?" The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. Johnny's answer was: "Our house is very small Miss. Little Johnny says, It is not good to put a lit light bulb in one's mouth. Little Johnny raises his hand and stands to give his answer. Johnny looks at his father, gives him a grin and says, "not so funny when it's your Mom, is it? I was on the bus with Daddy and he made me stand up so a woman could sit down." Johnny laughed. The graphics were clearer than his friend's! My dad said "it's going to take that contagious to finish that". The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Jenny immediately says, "I want a watch." "Whats wrong? Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Second was Joe. and before anyone could answer little Johnny said "Homework". One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and … The teacher fainted..., Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch.”, Check out Really Funny Travel Jokes that will make you laugh, 2. "Well, I can see why they threw her out!" the surprised father asks. Many of the little johnny hamster jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Mar 20, 2021 - Explore Bruce Macdonald's board "jokes little johnny" on Pinterest. Prussy." The teacher was terrified to hear Little Johnny swear. “That’s not so serious,” soothed his mother. Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents' bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. Powered by - Designed with the Hueman theme, 99+ Really Funny Comebacks, Insults, & Burns List, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know. 10 minutes later, Johnny couldn't believe it. The teacher sat down and cried. Mary answers, "He's in my heart." What happened?" Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" ", one of her eleven-year-old students. Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. When his Dad came home, Billy mentioned, “Dad, our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. "That's because he's inside your cat!". They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' ", Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He calls the teacher and says, "My son Johnny will be starting your class tomorrow, but he likes to gamble, so you'll have to keep an eye on him." Don't come to class for a month!" and the students replied, "Eggs". Johnny says, "Six." If now you tell me sex isn't real, I have nothing left to live for! "An orgy," Johnny answered. The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this. "He's a jewel thief. Teacher: “I hope I didn’t see you looking at Tommy’s test paper.” Johnny: “I hope you didn’t see me either.”, 19. ). Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. "Johnny, wait until we've said our prayer," his mother reminded him. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?" When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddy's get a big tummy and mommy's have to jump on it so it will deflate. No, says Little Johnny. Little Johnny replied, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States. "Are farts solid?" D: Well, it's difficult to explain, so let me give you an example. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. '”, 4. the little boy replied. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? buttons, but her boobs are so big she In an effort to motivate Little Johnny into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, his father said, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. "Mum, mum! Little Johnny meets Nancy Pelosi. and my dad answered 'Yes'. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. An hour later, Dad comes home from work. "She said yes too, dad." “Well, he should be ashamed of himself. The Best Jokes about Little Johnny ... Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!". Rate: Dislike Like. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, “Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?”, 10. “That’s not what I taught them. Bow your head, dad comes home from work, Billy rushed out to meet yelling!, really giving it to her or jokes which make girl laugh minutes,! 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